The latest season of Married at First Sight has stirred controversy with accusations of the show enabling and encouraging domestic violence, writes Zayda Dollie.
IT SEEMED LIKE the Nine Network had audiences all figured out when Married At First Sight (MAFS) broke Australian streaming records just last month.
But with one police investigation into an incident on the show underway and a wider investigation into the Nine Network and production company, Endemol Shine, just launched, this season of MAFS may well be its last.
After a solid 12-year run, it seems unlucky to be pulled off air over one bad batch of contestants. Based on Nine Network’s in-house track record, however, the controversy has only exposed a network oblivious to its flaws.
In its current and possibly final season, MAFS is a demonstration that ultimately, you reap what you sow.
Reality TV can be an uncomfortable experience for any viewer.
Watching cringey people doing cringey things is supposed to make viewers cringe.
What it’s not supposed to do is make viewers pick up their phone and file a complaint about it. Reality TV is cringe — but it’s not supposed to be triggering.
How it started
On Sunday 2 March, after an episode of MAFS aired on Channel Nine, dozens of viewers took to social media to say what no one on the show was saying — at least not on camera.
The episode, which resulted in 14 complaints being made to the Australian Communications and Media Authority (ACMA) overnight, showed interactions between couple Adrian Araouzou and Awhina Rutenee with a panel of so-called “relationship experts” — experts, who were seemingly unable to spot the signs of abuse recognised immediately by viewers, including former contestant Tahnee Cook.
Cook wrote:
‘There was something about the dynamic of Adrian and Awhina’s lunch that would have looked familiar to anyone, who has been in a narcissistic relationship or friendship.’
‘This is a how-to on DV without any actual lessons taught, just enabling and encouraging,’ Abbie Chatfield wrote in an Instagram post with the caption, ‘This show is a stain on our planet’.
The reality show, in which couples are matched by three experts in a marital experiment, is now in its 12th season.
It broke Australian streaming records last month when it became the country’s most-watched show digitally. More than half the show’s viewers still watch episodes on free-to-air TV at the time of broadcast. Around 11 million viewers have tuned in to watch the season so far.
9Now director Hamish Turner said in February this year:
“MAFS resonates with Australians like no other program.”
A few days after complaints had been made to the network about Adrian Araouzou, the next episode of MAFS revealed contestant Paul Antoine had punched a hole in the wall during an argument with fellow contestant Carina Mirabile.
Although the incident occurred off-camera, Mirabile awkwardly explained the reason for it on camera.
Apparently, the couple had been sitting in the car when a song came on, prompting Mirabile to say she had once slept with the artist of the song. The comment upset Antoine, who showed no reaction to it until the couple was in their hotel room, where he allegedly became enraged and punched a hole through the wall.
Public concern has only grown for the contestants, who have become stars of a show that condones badly behaved men and normalises scared women.
A police investigation was launched into the incident involving Antoine a few days after the episode was aired.
How it’s going
The problem is far bigger than one incident. Viewers, who felt triggered watching this season of MAFS, did not have to see a wall being damaged to recognise the act as being part of a pattern of behaviour.
Domestic violence, according to Relationships Australia, is any action experienced by a partner, which causes fear and has the effect of limiting what they say or do.
It has since emerged that contestant Adrian Araouzou has previously been accused of domestic violence and assault but fought the charges and was found not guilty.
Having a criminal conviction does not discount contestants from applying to be on the show, however, they are supposed to disclose this information to the network and production company.
It remains unclear whether the network and production company knew about Araouzou’s criminal history, as the application process prior to filming does not include police or court background checks.
The larger issue remains that even without a criminal record, the harmful behaviour of at least two of the contestants seems to have gone unnoticed by the network.
A week after the police investigation was announced, SafeWork NSW launched its own broader investigation into the Nine Network and Endemol Shine.
Contestant Jacqui Burfoot has since demanded the show be put to an end and those responsible brought to account.
The 29-year-old former Miss New Zealand has taken to Instagram and TikTok to inform others of the reality behind reality TV:
“I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with this show but as a woman, as a future mother, as a sister, as a friend, I can’t sit by and let them get away with this against me or any other woman out there – it needs to end today. Enough is enough.”
Burfoot also said:
“They record us when we use the toilet – yes, you heard that right. They force us to have mics on when we’re taking a shit and they listen to us and we don’t have a choice. It’s basically lockdown there… If you do break the rules, they make the rules even stricter, which is called coercive control. There’s gaslighting, there’s abusive men on the show. You’re basically threatened the whole entire time.”
Last October, a review conducted into the Nine Network uncovered a culture of intimidation, bullying, sexual harassment and attempts from HR to cover up complaints made against management. The network was described as having a ‘toxic culture’ and an “ecosystem of inequity”, which included public humiliation and belittling as tactics used in the workplace.
It seems the Nine Network has a blind spot when it comes to recognising these very same problems infecting their shows.
Will it end?
Watching the women on MAFS cower in the presence of a man who will not allow them to speak freely in front of a group, will not allow them to disagree or have feelings that make them look bad in front of others should set off alarm bells.
The men on MAFS are not pretending to be something they aren’t. They perfectly embody the myth of masculinity predisposing them to problematic behaviour.
The idea that a man should be tough, show strength, be in control, give away little emotion, use force to assert dominance, show others who is boss — these notions are as hollow in reality as they are on reality TV. They place enormous amounts of pressure on men who need to be right because they don’t know how to be wrong.
The myth of masculinity, propagated by people like Andrew Tate, is just that — a myth.
It’s a lie men will never be able to live up to and it’s women who are being crushed under the weight of them trying.
Zayda Dollie is an IA columnist who believes in athlete story-telling, the redemptive power of sport and having female voices heard.
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