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“Every day brings new choices.”
Martha Beck
“The key to happiness—or that even more desired thing, calmness—lies not in always thinking happy thoughts. No. That is impossible. No mind on earth with any kind of intelligence could spend a lifetime enjoying only happy thoughts. The key is in accepting your thoughts, all of them, even the bad ones. Accept thoughts, but don’t become them. Understand, for instance, that having a sad thought, even having a continual succession of sad thoughts, is not the same thing as being a sad person.”
Matt Haig
“Happiness is not a goal; it’s a by-product.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
#3 Happiness is a habit I am developing.
Happiness is created, not waited for.
When I read the words of our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, PhD, it felt like she was talking directly to me. I felt a connection and deep understanding. She put into words what my brain could not even comprehend yet; why I drank and that there is a full life in sobriety and recovery.
Statement #3 in action looks different for everyone but it was the women on the WFS Online Forum who paved the way with their laughter and insight. This was my first look at women who were enjoying life without alcohol or drugs. This provided something that had been elusive when drinking: it gave me hope. This changed everything.
One of the recurring themes in our weekly WFS meeting is the absence of chaos and drama. Simple contentment can feel equal to happiness which starts with our daily choice of embracing sobriety. This week, examine the path to happiness in your daily life beginning with your recovery journey. What is different? What is the same? Would you like more joy and connection? Click here to sign up for our annual WFS Conference!
Hugzzz
Karen
Dear 4C Women,
The 2nd quote by Matt Haig really spoke to me. Calmness in the midst of my grief has been my saving grace. I do have happy thoughts and I hold onto them when they occur. As the quote says, we need to accept all of our thoughts. Ignoring them is what led me to numbing the ones that scared me, and made me feel uncomfortable. It was much easier to accept the happy thoughts at the beginning of my recovery journey perhaps because I was yearning so deeply to feel them authentically. How refreshing to feel real joy rather than pretending as I did in my drinking days. I honestly didn’t think it was possible. In finding my authentic joy, I realized how much I depended on others to create my happiness. What a burden to put on someone else. While I learned to create my own happiness, I also learned that others could add to it.
WFS taught me not to fear my thoughts but to embrace them, learn from them, and uncover the woman waiting to be free!
I’d like to share some of the questions about creating or having awareness of happiness being created that have guided me to explore what brings me joy. I date my answers so I can reflect on my personal growth regarding a particular Statement. I have one on Statement #3 from 1993 and a few others after that. It is fun to see how different my answers are just in a few years and even some that have remained the same. What gave me joy in 1993 was my ex and his 2nd wife moving to Alabama from NJ knowing I wouldn’t have to see them. He and I had lived in AL back in the late 60s/early 70s. Our children were born there. That joy changed when he convinced my daughter to move to AL, only a year later after our divorce was final. That move changed so much in our lives. Ten years later, my decision to move to AL gave me great joy to be physically close again to my daughter and granddaughter. No more 17-hour drives to visit! It’s answering these questions that creates awareness of how life unfolds and can bring about change even in the same/similar situation.
Foundations of happiness:
Self-acceptance
Personal Growth
Environmental mastery
Purpose in life
Positive relationships with others
List 10 things that give you joy:
Twenty things that you’re grateful for:
Have you discovered a purpose in your life?
Finding treasure:
Establishing what you value plays a part in finding joy/happiness. In one of my meetings, I asked the women to bring a treasure to share with the group. It was heartwarming to hear the joy behind these treasures. For some, it was a photo or an object. We all could feel authentic happiness with each other. It is part of that environmental mastery. I keep treasured keepsakes on my nightstand or close by and rotate them. How joyful to wake up to a happy memory and feel the smile cross my face.
Having an adventure:
Explore and discover new places, new people, and new activities. Dream up an adventure to take in perhaps only 2 hours, something you would like to do that you’ve never done before. It doesn’t need to be exotic or expensive, just something new and different. The key is to find out what creates happiness for you as you put Statement #3 into action.
I love writing about my feelings, my thoughts, my changes, and dating them. It has become a guide for me to recognize my personal growth and what I need to dig a little bit deeper in understanding the work I need to do. I encourage you to do this for yourself in answering these questions.
Bonded in developing the habit of personal joy and happiness, Dee
It is an important time for women, as we rise to use our voices to make good, healthy choices. And one of the most important choices we make is to choose sustained sobriety. Once again, we are asking you to help women seeking a sober New Life with a donation to Women for Sobriety. Your contribution is essential to allow WFS to continue offering valuable free services to assist women in overcoming their substance use disorder (SUD).
As of April 5, we have reached $7,722. Let’s close the gap to reach the goal or raising $32,000! For more information, read a note from Bunny.
By making a donation, you will automatically be entered into the drawing to win one of the bears or bunnies in our All Love Given Returns project.
Every dollar makes a difference. Make a donation today and/or sign up to be a volunteer!
Advancement Team
Empowering Women in Recovery
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