£3-billion-pound 500-metre-tall Spitfire ‘cathedral’ to be opened in Southhampton in 2035

£300 million funding has been approved for a massive building in the shape of Britain’s famous Spitfire fighter jet of World War II. Dubbed the Spithedral the building will celebrate Southampton’s contribution to world history.

Southhampton councilman Eric Pulp has been campaigning for the project for over ten years and is delighted at the decision. Pulp noted, “This is exactly what Southampton needs, no doubt the so-called Woke Brigade will complain the money could be better spent on essential services, but this will have some features just as important. There will be 24 rooms each themed around a different Spitfire mark with specially commissioned songs by local musicians explaining the key features of each variant.” Though Pulp refused to confirm it, it is rumoured the musicians will include UK Garage superstar Craig David and Rock legend Aqualung. Pulp continued, “This is a vital educational tool, I was inspired to start this project when I was speaking to a local teenager and was horrified to discover he didn’t know how many propellers a Spitfire Mk IX had! I realised Britain was losing its way and something had to be done. No doubt the Woke Brigade (or at least one Woke Battalion) would rather spend these funds on tackling knife-crime or child poverty or some other snowflake madness, but we will be building a legacy to a legend and it will made from wood unofficially harvested from trees on the Churchill family estate, so it will be made by trees likely containing the DNA of Winston Churchill.”