Are You Letting Yourself Down? — Frank Sonnenberg

You can’t always make people happy, nor should you try. The fact is, some folks may ask you to do things that are questionable, unreasonable, or even unethical. And, you’ll have to decide whether to accept or reject their request — even if they get upset with you. Other times, people may want you to focus on their priorities instead of tending to your own. Although it’s not easy to say, “No,” if you don’t focus on things that matter most to you, you’re letting yourself down. The reality is, there’s a very fine line between trying to please others and making sure that your own needs are being met.

If you try too hard to please others, you may fail to satisfy your own needs.

20 Ways You Might Be Letting Yourself Down

While being a people pleaser may seem virtuous, it may result in overlooking your personal needs and aspirations. Here are 20 ways you might be letting yourself down…

Do you:

1. Care more about others’ needs than your own?
2. Adopt other people’s standards instead of staying true to your own?
3. Belittle yourself because you’re not living up to everyone’s expectations?
4. Refuse to walk away from toxic relationships, even at the cost of your well-being?
5. Place so much importance on acceptance that your true self gets lost in the shuffle?
6. Spend more time doing have-tos than want-tos?
7. Place a higher priority on being liked by others than on liking yourself?
8. Agree with people to maintain harmony, even though your views differ?
9. Follow the pack because there’s comfort in numbers rather than thinking for yourself?
10. Virtue signal merely for social approval, rather than genuinely upholding the values being asserted?
11. Focus more on others’ priorities rather than tending to your own.
12. Follow along to get along — rather than rocking the boat?
13. Put yourself down rather than acknowledge how special you are?
14. Let people convince you to stop pursuing your dreams?
15. Believe everyone’s opinion of you is accurate?
16. Compare yourself to others rather than acknowledging your own achievements?
17. Act like a doormat rather than advocating for yourself?
18. Allow bad influences to corrupt your soul?
19. Value other people’s opinions more than your own?
20. Compromise your core beliefs to fit in?

You Can’t Always Make People Happy

The upside of being a people pleaser is that you genuinely care about others. The downside is that trying to please others, at the expense of your own needs and values, can lead to a lifetime of regret. As Paulo Coelho, the Brazilian novelist, said, “When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.”

The problem with compromising your principles is that everyone likes you except yourself.

Being mindful of others’ desires is essential, though fulfilling their requests may not always be possible. The key is taking their needs into consideration and doing what’s right. Remember, it’s one thing to disappoint others and quite another to let yourself down. After all, you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life.

Are You Letting Yourself Down?

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Additional Reading:
Do You Crave Acceptance?
Never Lower Your Personal Standards. Never!
What’s More Important, Perception or Reality?
If You Can’t Be Yourself Around Others, Who Are You?
25 Ways to Avoid a Lifetime of Regret
How to Deal With People Who Undermine Your Confidence
Change Your Priorities: Change Your Life

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