This week is Hometowns, the cringiest episode of the season.
This is when The Bachelor meets the contestant’s’ families who are often skeptical of this whole bullshit franchise.
We start in New Orleans, which is Kelsey A’s hometown. They go to a park where a woman is having her wedding photos taken. Kelsey reflects that in a couple of weeks that could be her, and says she terrified of having her heart broken.
Kelsey is also struggling with the fact that her mom, who passed away, won’t be there for her wedding.
Joey gets to meet Kelsey’s family, including her dad Mark who people are pushing to be the next Golden Bachelor.
Mark talks to Joey alone and tells him that he worries about Kelsey’s “heart of gold” being broken. Joey says his feelings for her “are real, and they do make sense.”
What does that even mean? Do his feelings for the other women not make sense?
Next up is Rachel’s hometown in Rancho Cucamonga, California. Rachel’s family hails from Hawaii where Joey has been living, so he’s excited about that connection.
This episode is so boring, y’all. I literally took a break to clean my cat’s ears because it was more interesting.
Joey says of Rachel “There’s always so much more to uncover,” like Rachel is a murder mystery or something.
Rachel says her heart has been broken before and her parents took it really hard. “My family won’t be huge fans of [this], I think.”
They go to a poolside barbeque where Rachel’s nephew Liam is dancing. Liam, at 5ish, is 100% more interesting than Joey and I would watch an entire episode of his awesome dance moves.
Rachel’s dad says he’s never seen the show (smart man), but says that if her heart gets broken they’ve already learned that she can recover and to use that strength.
She says she hasn’t felt as happy as she is with Joey in awhile.
So then Joey asks for her dad’s blessing if he proposes. He says, “If that time comes, she has my number.”
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At the end of the day, Rachel tells Joey she’s falling in love with him.
Daisy’s hometown is Becker, Minnesota. They visit her family’s former Christmas tree farm. They take a wagon ride through the farm. Her childhood home looks like a Hallmark movie.
Daisy’s family talks about her battle with Lyme Disease and how strong she is.
Daisy’s mom worries Daisy isn’t being vulnerable enough for their relationship to progress. Daisy cries and says she never thought she’d feel this way about someone. She worries she’ll lose Joey because she can’t express her feelings.
I love Daisy’s dad. He tells her “It’s only love. Shoot the shot and if you win, then it’s all the marbles.”
Daisy tells Joey she’s falling in love with him.
Finally we’re in Niagara Falls, NY where Maria is. Joey is still concerned that she almost left the show. They take a boat ride around the falls.
Maria tells him that she’s never brought anyone home to her parents before which makes him nervous. “How has she gone this long in life without opening to someone,” he asks.
That feels kinda judgmental.
When we cut to Maria’s family, they play music over the top that makes it sound like Joey’s meeting the Godfather or something. Also they’re Greek, not Italian.
When Maria talks to her friend, she starts crying because it’s hard for her knowing Joey is with three other girls.
Maria’s dad talks to Joey and says, ” I know there’s three other girls in the mix and if you’re telling me you’re falling for her, and you’re telling them you’re falling for them, then that doesn’t mean anything.”
Joey says it would be hard to get down on one knee without knowing her family supports it.
Her dad says that if Maria chooses him, then he’d be “more to me than a son.”
I also don’t know what that means.
When her dad asks her how she’s doing, Maria immediately starts crying so that’s a great sign. He advises her to let her guard her down and try at the relationship.
I think this season’s families have been more supportive than any other season.
At the end of the night Maria still can’t tell Joey she’s falling for him. Instead she says she appreciates him being there.
Then it’s time for the Dreaded Rose Ceremony, which inexplicably, is held in an airport hangar with a jet in the background. My favorite part is the carefully staged fake cargo.
Before he starts handing out roses, Maria asks to talk to him.
She tells him that the minute she said goodbye to him she regretted it and that she’s falling in love with him. She says regardless of what happens tonight, she wants him to know that.
When she gets back in line Rachel asks her, “What was that about?”
“I don’t know,” Maria says.
“You don’t know but you asked him to talk?” Rachel asks.
“It’s just what I had to do in the moment,” Maria replies.
Rachel is clearly annoyed.
After much dramatic music, Joey gives roses to Rachel, Daisy and Kelsey.
Joey tells Maria that he just had stronger connections with the other women, and that he still had a lot of doubts about their relationship.
Maria says she’s confused because she showed him all of her, and she doesn’t know what more she could give him.
“It sucks,” she says.
That’s it. Are you watching?
