A Whisper from Sudanese Poet Kamal Elgizouli – ARABLIT & ARABLIT QUARTERLY

Whispers

By Kamal Elgizouli

Translated by Adil Babakir

It’s not murder that I dread.

Not even a tragic end.

Nor this door being blown down outright,

or them storming in at midnight,

their naked guns in full sight.

No.

Not festering wounds, streams of blood,

or the wall dotted with fragments of my skull.

What I fear the most, I have to say,

is fear per se:

that devious and elusive thing,

that in a twinkling

can sneak in,

whispering deluding excuses—temptingly fancy,

while stealthily injecting weakness and despondency

into the inner pores of my soul.

That elegant, eye-catching thing

luring me into watching its glaring blade.

And once, for a second or two,

I am dazzled by the glow,

it slips in,

splitting me into two:

A half up there—in its illusionary world,

dying twice.

And a half down here,

half dead.

You are destined to die—and so are they.

No one is exempt.

So voice your rejection right here!

Out there, your defiant voice will come out,

pretty strong and vocal.

Die here,

to live there!

This poem first appeared in the author’s book  Modern Sudanese Poetry: an Anthology, University of Nebraska Press, 2019.

Kamal Elgizouli, who passed away in November 2023, will be remembered in his country and abroad for his unequivocal stance for human rights. He devoted all his career as a lawyer and activist, and his fathomless creative talent as a poet and writer, to defending his people’s aspirations for justice and democracy. Born in Omdurman, Sudan, in 1947, he obtained a Master’s of Law from the College of International Law and International Relations of the Kiev Governmental University in 1973. His return home coincided with a volatile era in Sudan’s history. Tension was still in the air following the 1971 bloody events, when the May dictatorship butchered many of the communist party’s senior leadership in the aftermath of their aborted coup against President Nimeiri. Elgizouli was in and out of prison several times during the mid-1970s and early 80s, and later in the early 90s following the Islamists’ coup. Those eventful times have had their imprint on his poetry. Incarceration and persecution featured prominently across his critically acclaimed collection Omdurman Comes on the Eight O’clock Train. 

Adil Babikir is a Sudanese translator and copywriter based in the UAE. He has translated and edited several works, including Modern Sudanese Poetry: an Anthology (Nebraska, 2019) and Mansi: A Rare Man in His Own Way, by Tayeb Salih (Banipal Books, London, 2020). His latest book, The Beauty Hunters: Sudanese Bedouin Poetry: Evolution and Impact, was published by University of Nebraska Press in April 2023, and he also recently co-translated Abdelaziz Baraka Sakin’s Samahani, with Mayada Ibrahim.