The big football game that matters to nearly nobody is set for Sunday.
Yeah, the Pro Bowl Games are still alive, and the contest will be played in Orlando, Fla.
You probably remember last season’s defensive struggle. Try NFC 64, AFC 59. Perhaps all the defenders skipped the game since you’re not allowed to rush the passer.
The younger football fans probably won’t believe that there were 16 total points scored in the 1986 season Pro Bowl. And that players used to tackle.
The score was AFC 10, NFC 6, with Reggie White—the “Minister of Defense”—named” MVP despite being on the losing team.
Now 16 points are seemingly scored every five minutes.
You hear people talk about fixing the Pro Bowl. Well, there’s no way to do that.
Football is a fast-paced, strike-with-full-force game and the Pro Bowl is the exact opposite.
It’s no longer a game of tackle football and now it’s just flag football with no motion or shifting allowed on offense.
You don’t need to pack your helmet or your shoulder pads or even your mouthpiece.
Nobody even wants to push anyone too hard.
I get it. Nobody wants to get hurt and then have to spend their entire offseason rehabbing.
I see that earlier this week, they played a dodgeball tournament during the Pro Bowl festivities.
Maybe we can work that in during part of the second quarter.
Jared Goff of the Detroit Lions has top-flight accuracy (well, not against the Washington Commanders). Perhaps he can try to throw the ball at Indianapolis Colts linebacker Zaire Franklin.
If Goff hits Franklin, tack on a point for the NFC. If he misses him, give the AFC a point.
Do the same with Joe Burrow of the Cincinnati Bengals against Arizona Cardinals safety Budda Baker. And so on.
You could involve the coaches.
AFC coach Peyton Manning could certainly send the dodgeball flying with a well-timed forehead bump.
The NFC coach is Eli Manning, and he’s after a huge accomplishment.
The Kansas City Chiefs aren’t the only team seeking a three-peat this month. Eli is looking for his third straight Pro Bowl victory over big brother Peyton.
Now, these are the real bragging rights.
Who cares that both brothers own two Super Bowl rings? A Pro Bowl three-peat will be all Eli will talk about for the next 12 months.
Peyton is highly bothered by the possibility.
“Would I like to beat Eli in this Pro Bowl? Very much so,” he said this week. “He’s 2-0. He’s talking about a three-peat. That’s annoying. It’s offensive. And I’m afraid if we don’t win, they’ll fire me and I won’t get to come back.”
Uh oh, Andrew Luck, Cam Newton and Drew Brees can get their resumes ready.
Notice how the Manning brothers have to be involved in everything? Almost like the NFL doesn’t think anyone will tune in to watch, otherwise.
Yeah, probably good in this case.
The two leading NFL MVP candidates are not in this game. Josh Allen of the Buffalo Bills and Lamar Jackson of the Baltimore Ravens pulled out of the game. Ravens running back Derrick Henry and Washington Commanders rookie sensation Jayden Daniels also withdrew.
But this week is a great experience for some young players.
Brock Bowers of the Las Vegas Raiders set an NFL rookie record with 112 receptions. His reward is getting to rub shoulders with longtime star tight end George Kittle of the San Francisco 49ers.
Two of the top running backs in the NFL—Bijan Robinson of the Atlanta Falcons and Jahmyr Gibbs of the Lions—plus New York Giants rookie receiver Malik Nabers also will be better for the experience.
If you’re in the game, the announcers will highlight you at some point. The “all football pub is good pub” philosophy is full-go on this broadcast.
Let’s not forget Baker Mayfield. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback was a late replacement for Daniels. After all, he is the defending Offensive Player of the Game.
The winners get $90,000 apiece, and the losers get $45,000 for three hours of not real football. OK, we finally found the part where I’m envious.
