Live a Happier Life By Releasing These 9 Things

In my experience less stress leads to a happier life. Usually, when it comes to living a happier life, we believe we need more. That might include earning more, owning a bigger house or participating in more activities. I used to think if I had a bigger closet or more kitchen cabinets, I’d be happier. Instead of adding things for more happiness, try subtracting instead. Less stuff equals less managing, less cleaning and less stress.

Live a Happier Life By Releasing These 9 Things

The next time you think you need to add something for a happier life, ask yourself if you might feel better by subtracting something instead. When you look at the list below, ask yourself which of these things removes you from feeling happy. That’s the best thing to let go of first!

1. Let go of aspirational items.

If you want a happier life, release things that don’t serve you anymore even if they seemed like a good idea at one time. Let go of anything you own that you bought for a life you thought you wanted but don’t anymore. This might include books on topics you aren’t interested in or clothing for a job that you won’t be pursuing. There may be many items in between too. These items distract you from the life you have now and it will make a huge difference in how you feel. You may have been holding on to some anxiety with your aspirational items. It feels good to honor where you are instead of stressing about where you were going, especially when that’s not where you really want to go anymore.

2. Resist comparing yourself to others.

You might feel completely content and happy about something going on in your life until you compare it. You might compare it to something someone shared on Instagram or another story you heard. You might compare it to something you had before or think you might have in the future. As the saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy. There will always be a better circumstance (or a worse one) to compare to yet rarely do either change your situation. The comparing only changes how you feel about your situation.

3. Stop trying to change what’s already happened.

Regret is fueled by reliving and and trying to change the past. The pain of the past can help us make decisions about moving forward but spending your time wondering what things would have been like if you’d done things differently only prevents you from feeling better now. You will constantly miss out on the potential joys of the present moment by looking back and wishing for a better outcome. Perhaps it’s time to move forward. If trying to rework the past has become a persistent habit for you, try allowing yourself a few minutes each day to reflect through journaling. Get it off your mind and write it down. Before you wrap up your journaling session, write a sentence or two about something happening right that makes you smile. Keep coming back to today.

4. Release the idea of wanting something for someone else.

Of course you want the best for people you love but when you start wanting something for someone more than they want it for themselves, it gets in the way of your happiness. Look at these situations with fresh eyes. Are you pushing what you want for someone when they aren’t interested. Are you setting goals or expectations for other people in your life when they deserve to do that for themselves. When you let go of this wanting, your relationships improve including the one you have with yourself. Getting annoyed or worried about people who aren’t doing what you think is best for them causes more frustration and less happiness all the way around.

5. Don’t worrying so much about things out of your control.

This might the hardest one of all and when you let it go, you will attract an abundance of happiness. That stress you are carrying by worrying about things you can’t change, things you have no control over, is weighing you down. This doesn’t mean we give up on the things we care about.

Instead, it means paying attention to the worry and before we start getting upset or ruminating about the same thing over and over again, we notice and ask, “Is this within my control?” “Is there a step I can take to help?” And finally if the answer to the first two questions is no, ask “What healthy action can I do to remove myself from this worry?” Taking a walk, journaling, baking something or listening to a light-hearted podcast may be enough to let go of the worry and feel happier.

6. Release clutter for a happier life.

Since I mostly write about simplifying your life, I had to include this one. Removing clutter from your home, your calendar and your mind has great potential to increase your happiness. By slowing down, removing distraction and calming your mind you make space and time for what makes you feel happy and to enjoy the feeling of being happy instead of rushing through it to get to the next thing. If you aren’t sure where to start, remove these 52 things, schedule more nothing or declutter your mind for less stress and more peace and ease.

7. Don’t be so pleasing.

This one might be the hardest because by pleasing other people, you may actually believe you are doing the right thing. It’s wonderful to do nice things for other people but when you continually sacrifice your own time and energy, disappointing yourself to please others, it’s time to check in on your motivation. What do you get from the pleasing part? The most painful part of this habit may be the dishonesty of saying one thing and thinking another. Also notice who may be taking advantage of your need to please. This reminds me of the saying, “The only people upset about you setting boundaries are the ones who benefited from you having none.”

8. Give yourself permission to stop feeling guilty.

Feeling guilt implies that you’ve done something wrong but often, when feeling guilt, you haven’t broken the law or done anything wrong. Instead, you feel guilty when you don’t feel like you got enough done, or when you have to say no or set a boundary with someone you love. You may even guilty when you get sick and have to take time off or rest. People tell me they feel guilty for relaxing and doing nothing or not attending an event they don’t want to attend.

If you can relate and have felt guilty for these things, I’d like to suggest that you aren’t feeling guilty. Instead, you are feeling discomfort for taking care of yourself. You may not feel comfortable putting yourself first, taking care of your needs or even giving yourself what feels like a simple pleasure. When you aren’t used to doing that, your discomfort feels bad and you call it guilt … which makes you feel worse because you think you’ve done something wrong. Let go of this vicious circle and question your guilt. When that feeling pops up ask yourself, “Is this guilt or is this discomfort?” You deserve to take care of yourself.

9. Stop trying to do it all alone.

Asking for help is hard but trying to do it all alone is harder. When I was first diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, I wanted to prove to everyone around me that I was ok, so I tried to manage everything myself. Once I began to ask for help, I realized that other people wanted to help but they didn’t know how. By asking for what I needed, I was helping all of us. If you want help simplifying your life, learn more about our guided email program (including tiny steps, reflection questions and extra support). Which item will you let go of first?

Which one of these nine things to release for a happier life resonated with you the most? Choose one or two to work on. Be gentle with yourself as you let go of things you might not even recognize make you feel bad. Slowly, you can make room to feel a little lighter, happier and more at ease in your own life.