I Asked For $10,000. He Donated $25,000.

You are prepping for a donor ask. You have all the information you could get which could mean that you have nothing. Or if you are lucky, maybe you have some solid donor research. 

The only nagging question remains: How much should I ask for?

It’s a tricky question and the answer is always more art than science. During meetings with the donor, you must ask as much as you tell so you can understand who this prospect is, what they care about, and how they think about their own philanthropy.

What you learn about them will help shape how to make the ask and how much to ask for.

Unless you have learned something that would make it feel inappropriate or just plain icky to ask (such as a traumatic life event), when it comes time to ask, just ask.

And you ask for a specific amount of money. Prospects expect to be asked for a specific amount of money. 

We know from research that if someone makes an unsolicited gift, it can be as much as ½ of the size of the gift they would give if they were asked in person. (Read that again.)

This means that you are limited only by what you have the courage to ask for. 

So your job is to ask. Then they can respond and decide.

Trust me, you learn as you go. The goal is to ‘fail forward’.

Ask anyone who has been a fundraiser and they will have stories. Funny ones.  Humiliating ones. And yes, big successes.

But today, we won’t focus on big successes. Those can be intimidating and often way less fun.

I want you to sit back and hear a few of my fundraising flops. In each story, there is a lesson and I’ll be sure to tease that out.

I will offer fundraising flop stories from two perspectives. I have a few as the person who made the ask and a few when my wife and I were asked to contribute.

In this blog post, I will share my lessons as Joan, the Fundraiser.

ASKING FOR A DONATION: DOS AND DON’TS

1 – THE INDEX CARD STORY 

I was new to fundraising but I did my homework. I took copious notes on an index card about the folks I was to meet at the event and the ask I should make. The index card went into my shirt pocket and off I went to the event. 

I met one of my prospects and we started a great conversation. Then I realized that he was staring at my pocket. I can’t bear to look. 

“Are you reading my pocket, Jeremy?”  

“Yes,” he replies.  

“What are you reading,” I asked. 

“Jeremy should be asked to upgrade to $2,500.”  

I was mortified but I stayed calm and used a bit of humor. “And dare I ask what Jeremy thinks about that?”

He responded: “Jeremy is impressed with people who are prepared and Jeremy should be a $2,500 donor.” 

And he became one.

Moral: Be prepared and be careful about where you put your notes. Also, donors appreciate authenticity.

2 – WHAT CAN YOU DO WITH ONLY $10,000?

If I believe the prospect has been nurtured by a board member or another stakeholder, I will make an ask on the ‘first date.’ Others would question my audacity. Perhaps even my sanity. It’s probably worth noting that I’m accustomed to this line of questioning in many aspects of my life.

Based on what we had learned, I headed off to lunch with a $10,000 ask in my head. The lunch conversation is interesting and it feels as if this prospect is knowledgeable and almost pre-sold. 

I felt good and like we were on the right track when I made a $10,000 ask. The prospect takes only a moment and then says, “What can you do with only $10K?”  

I was not expecting that. 

Rather than sheepishly justifying the power of the investment, I did me. “Clearly, I did not ask you to consider a big enough gift!”  

Then I told him how we’d invest $10K and invited him to join a house party 30 days away. I gave myself a public challenge to this prospect.

“If I’m good at this nonprofit leader fundraising thing, you’ll joyfully upgrade to a $25,000 donor in 30 days.”  

He liked my attitude. And everyone at GLAAD liked his $25,000 check that arrived 30 days later.

3 – YOU SHOULD BE ON A MAJOR DONOR LIST

This was a humbling experience for me. It had been difficult getting a meeting with this particular individual and I let my attitude about other peoples’ egos get in my way. Maybe I let my own ego get in the way. This donor was conspicuously missing from our list of significant donors although he had a very visible connection to our mission.  

I sat on the spectacular veranda overlooking the Hollywood Hills and had the audacity (the wrong kind) to tell this prospect that he should be a donor at the X level. We’d been having a great conversation until then and after that things got cold (and I’m not talking about the weather). Maybe the donor got a phone call and spared me. I don’t remember.

To the donor’s credit, we received a call the next day to pick up a check (people wrote checks in those days) and it was an amount that sent me the message I needed to hear. Never tell a donor they should do anything.

3 KEY TAKEAWAYS

I hope the fundraising experiences I’ve shared in this blog post have got your juices flowing. There is so much possibility and opportunity for you to fundraise! 

Here are 3 things that I hope you will take away:

1 – DO YOUR HOMEWORK.

Even if you don’t have a subscription to WealthEngine, there is a ton of information publicly available about possible donors for your mission. Most prospects are referred by someone. Gather as much research so you can be well-informed about when and how much to ask for.

2 – YOU ARE LIMITED ONLY BY WHAT YOU DARE TO ASK FOR.

One of my consulting clients recently thought she would ask for $5,000. The potential donor could easily contribute $25K. Plus, they were work colleagues and friends. I thought she should aim high in concept and say something like:

“I’d love to see you at the $25,000 level but I want to earn your trust as a new leader and share success stories with you. So, I’d like you to consider a $10,000 gift.”

She achieved two successes: 1) a $10,000 gift and 2) the upgrade is teed up for next year.

3 – DON’T BE A JERK.

The day I told a prospect they should be on our major donor list, I was a full-on jerk. It was humiliating. Actually, I’m embarrassed to share that experience. But, as a cautionary tale that will hopefully keep you away from the ‘jerk precipice,’ it will be worth it.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Fundraising is both an art and a science, where preparation and authenticity play key roles. In my experience, the most successful asks happen when you’re well-informed about your donor, courageous in your request, and mindful of how you approach the conversation. These real-life fundraising stories highlight valuable lessons and remind us of the power of connection and humility.

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