How to Give Constructive Feedback That Sticks

Want to make your advice and feedback more digestible? Learn how to make a “Compliment Sandwich” to deliver constructive criticism in a more positive and motivating way.

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Have you ever struggled to share your thoughts with a colleague or friend without sounding too harsh? Being able to offer advice, feedback, and constructive input is an essential skill in both personal and professional environments. However, striking the right balance between positive reinforcement and helpful critique can be tricky.

The “Compliment Sandwich” is one effective technique for delivering constructive criticism. It works by balancing both positive and negative comments, making it easier for the recipient to agree and act upon your suggestion. Here’s how it looks in action.

What Is the Compliment Sandwich?

The main goal of the “Compliment Sandwich” is to deliver criticism while maintaining a positive tone throughout the conversation.

It involves three key parts:

• Positive Opening (First Slice of Bread): Start with a genuine compliment or acknowledgment of something the person is doing well. This sets a positive tone and makes the recipient feel valued right away.
• Constructive Critique (The Filling): Present the main feedback or critique in a clear, supportive way. This is the heart of the feedback where you address what needs improvement or adjustment.
• Positive Closing (Second Slice of Bread): End with another positive or encouraging statement to reinforce your support and motivate the recipient. This leaves them feeling confident and balanced.

Practical Applications and Examples

Here are some hypothetical examples to show how the Compliment Sandwich works in practice. Remember, these aren’t scripts to follow word-for-word, just guidelines to inspire your own approach.

1. Workplace Feedback

Scenario: Addressing an employee’s inconsistent communication with the team.

• Positive Opening: “I really appreciate the effort you put into your work and the unique insights you bring to our projects.”
• Constructive Critique: “Lately, I’ve noticed some delays in team updates, which can make it harder for everyone to stay aligned and avoid miscommunication. Improving this will help the team function more smoothly.”
• Positive Closing: “I look forward to seeing what you contribute to the team’s future success.”

2. Teacher and Student

Scenario: A teacher providing feedback on an essay.

• Positive Opening: “Your thesis is engaging, and it’s clear you put a lot of thought into your argument.”
• Constructive Critique: “To strengthen your essay, consider adding recent studies or relevant examples to support your ideas.”
• Positive Closing: “You’re on the right track, I’m excited to see how this will evolve with the added research—I have no doubt it will be excellent!”

3. Personal Relationships

Scenario: Talking to a friend who tends to dominate conversations.

• Positive Opening: “I always enjoy talking with you because you have so many great stories.”
• Constructive Critique: “Sometimes I don’t get a chance to share my thoughts as much. It would mean a lot to me if we could balance our conversations a bit more.”
• Positive Closing: “I love our chats and look forward to many more. Your energy makes them lively!”

4. Coaching in Sports

Scenario: A coach providing feedback on a player’s performance.

• Positive Opening: “I love the energy and determination you bring to every game.”
• Constructive Critique: “Your defensive positioning needs some improvement, I can help you work on that during practice this weekend.”
• Positive Closing: “Keep up the hard work, and I know with some adjustments, you’ll be a better player all around.”

Tips for Effectiveness

• Be Genuine: Sincere compliments are essential to avoid feedback feeling manipulative. Always be truthful.
• Learn to Find the Good: Practice recognizing positive traits in others. This makes it easier to offer genuine compliments and feedback.
• Remember the Positivity Ratio: Aim for a 3:1 ratio of positive to critical feedback to maintain motivation and foster growth.
• Share Good News: Inject positivity by sharing good news, which can have a “bless the messenger” effect, where people feel more positive towards a person delivering uplifting information. 
• Adjust for Context: Tailor your feedback based on the recipient and situation. Some prefer gentle handling, while others want direct feedback.

Limitations of the Compliment Sandwich

The Compliment Sandwich has been widely used as a feedback tool, originating from management and communication training programs, typically in a corporate or organizational setting. Despite its popularity, it has drawbacks. One major criticism is that it can feel formulaic if used too often. When feedback follows the same pattern every time, it risks sounding insincere, reducing its effectiveness. The best feedback is organic and authentic. Use the Compliment Sandwich as a flexible guideline, not a rigid formula. Adapt your specific feedback based on the situation and the individual. Keep your communication fresh and spontaneous.

Psychological Foundations: Priming and the Recency Effect

The effectiveness of the Compliment Sandwich can be better understood through psychological principles like priming and the recency effect.

Priming is about how an initial stimulus can influence how someone perceives a subsequent one. In this context, the initial positive statement can make someone more open to subsequent feedback. Starting with praise sets a receptive tone, reducing defensiveness when delivering constructive critique.

The recency effect means people remember the last part of an experience most clearly. Ending feedback with a positive comment leverages this effect, leaving the recipient with a favorable impression and motivating them to act on the critique.

The main takeaway? Start and end on a good note. It’s a simple yet powerful and scientifically-backed way to boost the effectiveness of your communication while maintaining truth and honesty.

Conclusion

The Compliment Sandwich can be an effective way to deliver balanced and constructive feedback when used thoughtfully. The key is to avoid being scripted and to ensure that your feedback is sincere and unrehearsed. Try using the Compliment Sandwich the next time you give feedback and see if it changes the way people respond to your feedback and suggestions.

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