Conflict Competence: The Secret Sauce for a Great Corporate Culture

Imagine a workplace where innovation and problem-solving reign supreme, team objectives are celebrated over egos, colleagues engage in professional, direct dialogue to address issues. While no work culture will ever achieve utopia, most can progress positively with a healthy dose of conflict competence. The ability of a workforce to identify, discuss, and resolve conflict in a productive, constructive manner can differentiate a good company from a great company. The path to achieving this greatness is fairly simple. Read on to learn the 3 keys to leading a team of competent conflict managers.

What is Conflict Competence?

Conflict competency is the ability of two or more parties to eliminate disagreement or friction in a healthy, productive, collaborative manner. Constructive conflict management is a synonymous term. Ultimately, the goal for all involved is achieving a common objective; this could be building the best product, determining the most efficient path to a deadline, or creating a less stressful work environment. Whether the disagreement is over strategy, communication styles, or how to make the best cup of coffee, conflict competence is the path to effective resolution.

Notice this definition of constructive conflict management doesn’t reference everyone being happy. The outcome isn’t necessarily a compromise where all parties are as satisfied as possible (which really means no one is satisfied). The outcome is finding the best path to the common objective while maintaining an environment of trust, respect, and connection.

If you are thinking this sounds impossible to achieve, I promise you it is not. I’ve coached 1,000s of employees and managers in conflict competence and witnessed the evolution of teams who embrace this skill.

Advantages of a Conflict-Competent Team

Teaching a team to handle conflict constructively can have positive results on the culture and performance. A conflict-competent team:

Key #1: Set the Stage for Conflict

Conflict is unavoidable. Get two or more people together and there will be differing opinions, sometimes over critical issues, other times over trivial matters. (Who hasn’t engaged in the great Oreo debate?) Regardless the issue, conflict is coming for all of us. Best to plan for it in advance.

Here are 4 key steps to plan for conflict:

• With team input, create a working definition of constructive conflict management; this should include a clause about upholding respect and trust. (see the previous section for guidance).
• Conduct team training on conflict management. This will provide a shared language and tactics to address conflict when it arises.
• As a team, create ground rules to handle conflict. What are the rules of engagement? When is a manager called in to mediate? What behaviors should be avoided? I once worked with a team who used a “code phrase” to start of conflict conversation; this helped to get the ball rolling in a manner that felt less uncomfortable. The phrase? “There is pineapple on my pizza.”
• Establish standing meetings to identify, discuss, and solve issues as a group. (Pro tip: read Traction by Gino Wickman for help on this step.)

Key #2: Model Constructive Conflict Management Skills

A team leader can have a great impact on a team’s conflict competence simply by modeling the desired behaviors. Here are a few easy conflict management skills to incorporate into your leadership style immediately:

• Use “I” statements for constructive feedback, like, “I am having a hard time getting my point across. How can I present this information better?” Avoid “you” statements that put others on the defensive.
• Welcome constructive feedback on your ideas. Encourage others to challenge your thinking.
• Listen and ask questions when others disagree, fostering a safe space for open communication.
• Address friction promptly to free up brain space for innovation and alleviate stress.
• Choose “and” over “but” to build upon positive sentiments and encourage collaboration. Example: “This marketing brochure is good and we can make it better with a few changes.”

Key #3: Encourage Conflict

“Come again,” you might be thinking, “You want me to encourage conflict?” Yes, I do. The more employees deal with conflict the better they get at addressing it and the less scary it becomes. Here are 3 tips to encourage constructive conflict:

• Include conflict-related questions in your 1:1 meetings.
  • “Are you facing any conflicts right now?”
  • “What do you need more/less of from me to be successful on this project?”
  • “Is anything causing you concern right now?”
• Hold Q&A sessions on ideas, projects, and pending decisions. Ask everyone to bring a tough question for leadership.
• Mediate discussions with employees stuck in a friction loop. Don’t let team members avoid their disagreements.

Common Sense Disclaimer

Most conflict at work can be managed with clear, timely communication and conflict competence skills. However, some conflict is more serious and harmful. Discrimination, harassment, violence. These acts are manipulative, destructive, and illegal behaviors. Request help, immediately, from HR or your legal team if this situation arises.

Conclusion

In a workplace where innovation thrives, conflict competence becomes the key to success. Embracing constructive conflict management allows teams to collaborate effectively, fostering trust and connection. The advantages of conflict-competent teams are numerous, including improved performance, higher job satisfaction, better retention rates, and increased innovation. To foster this environment, leaders should set the stage for conflict by defining constructive conflict management, conducting team training, and establishing ground rules. Modeling conflict management skills, such as using “I” statements, welcoming feedback, and addressing friction promptly, is crucial for leaders. Lastly, encouraging conflict by including related questions in meetings and mediating discussions promotes a culture where conflict is addressed constructively.

And, for the record, I eat my Oreas by twisting; cream first, cookie halves second.