Cover Snark: Whistling Bellybuttons | Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

Welcome back to Cover Snark!

Elyse: Did they just glue someone else’s head onto this body ?

Tara: I’d need a drink, too, if that happened to me.

Sarah: “And you may ask yourself, how did I get here?”

Sneezy: Remember when Roman men used to sculptures of their heads on top of whichever sculpture of young, buff, homoerotic bodies that took their fancy? Well, they at least got the same lighting?

From Emily: All I can think of when I see this cover is the time my dad was watching a variety show circa 1980 with a “whistling bellybutton” act. I never forgot it. Amazingly, I have found a documentary about the performer on Youtube.

Sarah: Imagine if the cover belly buttons all started whistling!

Amanda: The true wonders of the human body never cease to amaze.

Sarah: It’s the human form of a surprise emoji.

Sneezy: Awww man! Why didn’t he paint his belly? Commit to the belly face, come on!

From DiscoDollyDeb: Whoever did the typesetting for this title needs to turn in their Adobe license while writing “people read from left to right” 100 times. Not gonna lie, I originally read the title as THE FLUFFY STALLION, and I had images of a beribboned pony gamboling through the fields. The book’s actual title is FLUFFING THE STALLION—which engendered a series of thoroughly different images.

Sarah: The title is FLUFFING the STALLIOn?! NO it is NOT. That’s not what the cover says!

Amanda: The FL points directly at his nip and the FFs going into his armpit.

Sarah: Nips and pits. Also that FL looks like Pi. The Pi-ffing stallion!

Amanda: Okay but DiscoDollyDeb said it is what it says on the tin and I’m curious.

Sneezy: Maybe he’s a horse shifter? A centaur’s lover? The fluffer working on the set of a kelpie porn star?

From Jen: Are those green rocks growing out of his shoulder and arm? Is it gangrene? So confusing.

Susan: Wait, is that green lyrium, instead of red lyrium, like from Dragon Age?

Amanda: I just imagine the love interest trying to run their hands over his shoulders and getting sliced up on those radioactive crystals.

Sarah: His aesthetician must HATE when he books a brow wax.

Sneezy: “My usual aesthetician couldn’t see me before my vacation, and the person who waxed me wasn’t experienced in crystal brows. Ripped out both shards on one side. It’s going to take so long to grow back. 🙁 “