The Comfort of Dogs – The Other End of the Leash

We need a little extra comfort, sometimes, don’t we? I find myself in that situation now, and am especially grateful not just for Jim, but also for Maggie and Skip. They are both super cuddly dogs, and moment by moment, I take comfort from the touch of their fur, the rhythm of their beating hearts. There are times I can’t imagine coping without them, and feel strongly that they are an important part of my mental and physical health. I know many of you feel the same.

And yet, Dr. Hal Herzog, one of our country’s experts on human-animal relationships, has written extensively about the “pet paradox,” the fact that most research suggests that pet are not truly “good for us.” His most recent article in Psychology Today, “The Puzzling Relationship Between Pet and Child Development”  begins with this:

According to a 2021 survey by the Human-Animal Bond Research Institute, 87% of pet owners have experienced improvements in their mental health due to having a companion animal. I have certainly felt that way about the impact of pets on my life.

Unfortunately, however, most high-quality studies have found that, after socioeconomic and demographic factors are taken into account, pet owners are not less depressed, less lonely, happier, or healthier than people without pets. This mismatch between our personal experience with the benefits of pet ownership and “the science” is called “the pet effect paradox.” It is, arguably, the biggest mystery in anthrozoology—the study of human-animal relationships. Two large studies now suggest this pet effect paradox also applies to the positive influence of pets on child development. (Hal Herzog, Psychology Today 11/12/24)

In a Facebook post, Hal (full disclosure, a friend and colleague), admitted to finding these results as confusing as I do. How could the studies not reflect our felt experience? If it was just one study it would be easy to dismiss, but many studies, with large sample sizes, have come up with the same conclusion.

Here’s my speculation about these results, very much influenced by my years as a companion animal behavior consultant: Think of it this way–there are “pet owners” and there are “pet owners.” There are those of us who love animals, or just dogs, or just cats. And when I say love, I mean LOVE. I’m easily in that category. I never wanted dolls as a little girl, but I had 52 stuffed animals. (I counted them every day.) I worshiped horses, drew pictures of them on everything, followed our dog around, lay in the dirt for hours and watched ants carry seeds into their nests. Currently, I adore our dogs, love them deeply, and have wrapped much of my life around them.

As an applied behaviorist, I saw people who cared enough about their dogs and cats to expend the time, energy and money on consultations. But of course, those people mostly came because their pet was causing problems in their lives, many of them serious. I can guarantee you that there are many dog lovers out there who, for whatever reasons, are not only not being comforted by their dogs, but are suffering no small amount of stress and anxiety because of them.

I think equally relevant, is the group of dog/cat owners who have a pet who does not have a serious behavioral problem, but is not integral to their lives. They, say, get married, buy a house, have kids, get a dog. My own Jim was one of those people before he met me–he and his ex-wife had two kids, two dogs, and both also worked full time (shift work to boot, each home or gone at different times). The kids wanted dogs, swore they’d take care of them, but, of course, were kids. Overall, the dogs made their lives harder, not better.

And then, he met me, long after his kids were grown. Jim is the guy who went out and read all my books when we were first dating, because he wanted to keep seeing me. It didn’t take long for Jim to fall in love with our dogs, and now cares about them as much as I do.

So, here’s my guess: When pet owners are asked if their animals provide comfort, they might answer as they are expected to answer. After all, as Hal’s article reminds us, we are told constantly that “pets are good for us.” But lumping all “pet owners” together is problematic. (Not to mention not separating out dogs versus cats versus goldfish.) I’d love to see studies by sociologists that look at companion animal owners in more detail, rather than lumping us all together, because I think there is important information there. My belief, and that’s all it is, is that companion animals provide tremendous comfort and health benefits to some pet owners, but it would be good to know who, and why.

I’d love to hear what you think! Jump in!

FYI, Dogs Need Comfort Too: I should add, before switching topics, that I’m having a BIG SALE on Giving Tuesday to encourage people to buy Love Has No Age Limit in bulk and donate it to shelters. I got my own comfort when I went out to shoot some videos for the sale and met Tag, a Great Pyrenees recently arrived at the Dane County Humane Society. He is the sweetest fluff-ball of love imaginable, and spending time with him, and the great people at the shelter, was a highlight of my week. (Just ask me how hard it was not to bring him home.)

If you can see it in your heart, jump onto my website on Giving Tuesday and buy a bunch of copies to donate to your favorite shelter or rescue. Some shelters have told me that their returns and behavior calls decreased significantly when they gave the booklet out with adopted dogs. (Way to Go and Fastidious Feline are always on sale to give to shelters/rescues too!)

MEANWHILE, back on the farm: I’d love to suggest it’s all sweetness and light out here, but we all know that’s not how life works. It’s raining ticks out here, no doubt the result of almost no winter last year, an excessively wet spring, and torrential rains in early fall. In spite of all possible preventions (except “avoid going outside”–that isn’t exactly helpful for those of us in the country with sheep and dogs.), both Jim and I have extracted several embedded ticks and Jim ended up with Lyme disease. Full on. Couldn’t stay awake, fever and chills so bad I found him one night in a puddle of sweat, body aches, no interest in food. Luckily, the doc at urgent care was one of the good ones, who put him on Doxycycline right away. (My former primary wouldn’t prescribe Doxy when I had a bulls-eye around the bite. This is why he is my former doctor.)

Jim is much, much better, WHEW, but still tires easily, which makes things interesting out here, given that in the last few weeks all of my Bad Letters (as in, cfs, pots, ptsd, & adhd) have become substantially worse. Regressions are so tiresome. But we’ll get through this; we have each other, and we have our dogs, who bring us joy and comfort every hour of every day. Here’s Maggie and Skip on our wood’s walk this morning. Watching dogs play has got to be one of my favorite things.

More good things include the new hay feeders that Jim found on line and put together. The wooden ones he built a gazillion years ago were starting to fall apart, and these are perfect replacements.

Another good thing is that the county finally got around to repairing a cave-in we had that threatened to take down an important fence that keeps the sheep out of the road. I tried hard to convince them to let me play with the Excavator, but, shockingly, they wouldn’t let me, in spite of offering bribes (aka pie).

And here’s to make us laugh: I pulled out my spice drawer and reached into the back to get out some sesame seeds. Here’s what I found:

It’s mouse-in-the-house season in the country! Our enterprising friends found their way into the drawer (no other signs of mice–yet–on the counter) and ate up all the sesame seeds. I am happy to have provided a good meal. Regretably, I regret that mice are not good house guests, so they will have to go. But I am taking this as a reminder that a good life is all about intention and stamina. May you too find something you truly want that you have the ability to chew through to!