Learning to control your anger is an important step in your lasting recovery. While we all get angry, feeling anger too strongly or displaying it frequently and aggressively can be harmful to your health. It can place extreme physical strain on your body, and if you’re not careful, it can become a harmful habit that’s hard to break.
Anger in the cycle of addiction
Anger and addiction often go hand in hand, creating a cycle that can be tough to break. When anger feels overwhelming, it’s easy to turn to substances for relief—but that relief doesn’t last. Instead, it can lead to bad decisions, strained relationships, and a higher risk of relapse. Often, anger comes from deeper pain or trauma, making it even harder to cope in a healthy way.
At the same time, addiction can make anger worse. It affects your brain, making you more irritable and emotional. Withdrawal, guilt, and life stress only add to the frustration, and if you’re also dealing with mental health challenges, it can feel like too much to handle. But breaking this cycle is possible—understanding the connection is the first step toward finding healthier ways to cope.
Controlling your anger
The good news is that you can control how you express anger. Despite common myths, the way you express anger is not inherited but a learned behavior. By taking some mindful steps in your daily routine, you can manage your anger—and how it affects your substance use.
Learn your triggers
Take note of the people, places, situations, and memories that set you off. Even seemingly simple things can get under your skin—and that’s okay. It doesn’t matter what triggers you; it does matter that you recognize it. These are some things that upset many people:
- Long waits to see a doctor check out at the store
- Traffic congestion or crowded buses
- A friend joking about a sensitive topic
- A friend not paying back money owed to you
- Being wrongly accused
- Having an untidy roommate
- Being placed on hold for long periods of time while on the telephone
- Rumors being spread about your relapse or recovery
Identify your anger cues
This is an important step in monitoring your anger, as these cues can act as a warning sign that you have become angry or that your anger is about to escalate. According to SAMHSA, there are four cue categories:
- Physical reactions: How your body responds, such as a racing heart, chest tightness, or feeling hot and flushed.
- Behavioral responses: Actions you might take, like clenching your fists, raising your voice, or giving intense stares.
- Emotional reactions: Other emotions that can accompany anger, including fear, hurt, jealousy, or feeling disrespected.
- Cognitive responses: Thoughts that arise, such as hostile self-talk or imagining aggression and revenge.
Take a timeout
This basic anger management strategy is easy and effective. In general, taking a timeout means taking a few deep breaths and time to think before you react. It can also mean leaving the situation or stopping the conversation that’s provoking your anger. Take a five-minute walking break to get some fresh air, or if your anger stems from the traffic jam you’re stuck in, turn up the radio and sing at the top of your lungs.
Snap yourself out of it
Sometimes, a physical reminder can remind you what’s going on. Try wearing a rubber band on your wrist and snap it when your blood begins to boil. Then, take a few minutes to review what triggered your anger and what you can do to calm yourself down. This last step is important because by figuring out what made you angry, you can help avoid getting worked up the next time you encounter it.
Set a timer
The next time you start experiencing anger cues, take a look at your watch and don’t take action until at least two minutes have passed. This will give you time to think and act in a more appropriate way. While your timer is ticking, pace around if you have the space or divert your attention to something else. You could even write down why you’re so angry.
Anger management and addiction treatment at Red Oak Recovery®
Treatment at Red Oak Recovery® addresses the unique needs of men in early recovery, including anxiety, depression, and anger. Our clients learn about what triggers and motivates them to use in the first place and work to develop new healthy coping strategies and positive skills for lasting recovery. Integrated substance use treatment and anger management for men can help you or a loved one break the cycle of anger and addiction. A more balanced future is within reach; take the first step by calling 828.382.9699 or contacting us online.
