But I Just Really Love Drinking Wine
“How can I quit when I like wine so much? And cocktails? And gin and tonics?”
I used to ask myself this question a lot.
I knew I needed to stop drinking and trying to cut down wasn’t working… But part of me hated drinking and part of me loved it.
Can you relate? If so, this video will help!
Key points:
The curiosity killer
The problem with repeating a big statement like “But I just love drinking wine” to yourself over and over is that it’s very vague. It closes down the conversation. It says everything and nothing all at the same time! It shuts off the curiosity that you need in order to truly figure out your drinking. We need to understand exactly what it is that you love about drinking.
It’s not a taste thing
Loving the taste is – dare I say this? – a convenient excuse. It’s a socially acceptable reason to drink and more sophisticated than just wanting to get smashed. Most of us had to work quite hard to acquire a taste for alcohol. Didn’t it make you gag to begin with?
If it really was just a taste issue, you’d be buying alcohol-free versions of your favourite drinks. Nowadays, alcohol-free wines taste just as good as the alcoholic versions – the market has completely transformed in recent years. The range available and the quality of it is impressive.
Ask yourself this question
“If I wasn’t drinking alcohol, what would be the uncomfortable feeling that I’d have to deal with?” It might be something that you’re embarrassed to admit. Perhaps you drink because you’re lonely in the evening. Or bored. Maybe you spend all day wondering if you’re good enough and when you get back home you want to block out that self-doubt.
Maybe you find parenting tedious or the company of your partner in the evening isn’t fun… and drinking helps you avoid that discomfort. Maybe you have a hard time transitioning from work into home life, and drinking seems to smooth things over. Perhaps drinking is the only thing that gives you permission to just stop and relax.
This information matters
Once you understand what you’re really trying to avoid, then you have a path to change. Then you can start to figure out the skill you need to develop in order to start taking care of things yourself. Your drinking is simply highlighting a skills gap. Right now you’re using alcohol to plug that gap.
This is where the real work of sobriety is. It’s doing that inner work, so you can learn to manage your mind and take care of yourself without needing alcohol to step in and do the heavy lifting. Most of us weren’t taught these skills – but you can learn how to have your own back. This is what I teach inside my Getting Unstuck coaching programme.
