My Step Mum derived pleasure in torturing me!

“Pastor, my son has suddenly become stubborn at home. He used to be a very good boy, but he’s completely changed now. What could have happened?” 

There are many things that can make a child change, but for the purpose of this question, I’d share two from scriptures. 

1 Corinthians 15:

33 Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.

I have a mark on my left arm and you’d think it’s a birth mark if you see it, but no, it’s the mark I acquired the day my dad beat me with wires. For some reason, that mark has just remained there. But it kind of reminds me of how my dad delivered me from bad friends. 

It was during my early teen years, I had just gotten freedom to associate with friends after school. Unfortunately, my “friends” were addicts who drank and smoked just anything. They were actually my classmates, so I guess that’s why I didn’t think it was a bad thing to associate with them. Although I didn’t drink or smoke with them, but I was already nursing this feeling of an ammature. 

I invited them to my father’s house to hang out one day, and unfortunately for me, they all had that special perfume of a person who smokes, so it wasn’t hard for neighbours to detect that a small boy like me was associating with smokers. 

Ofcourse, they told my dad when he came back from work, and that was the first and the last time my dad ever flogged me, with a tiny wire😂. I can remember how penetrating those whips were, and then this mark on my left arm, it just won’t let me forget that experience. 

My dad immediately hired a private tutor for me back at home and made me attend extra classes after school. So from school to extra classes, and from extra classes to home teacher. I had very little time to socialize. 

It wasn’t easy for me, but I’m glad my dad subjected me to that level of discipline. It’s one of the things I’d never forget about my dad. 

Who or what do your children communicate with? What do they watch? Any evil communication or relationship you permit into your children’s life will certainly corrupt the good manners you’ve invested into them. 

I heard of a girl who went from loving the Lord to wanting to die. And when her parents thoroughly investigated the situation, they discovered that she had been listening to ungodly songs, songs that painted suicide and evil as a good thing. At this time, she was already very sick, some of her organs were malfunctioning, and she was about to die. It took a deliverance session to get that demon out of her. 

Bishop Oyedepo would often say that “what you don’t want, you don’t watch”. If you don’t want your children to become drug addicts, don’t let them watch movies that supports addiction, neither should you allow them associate with such people. Don’t let them associate with friends that disobey their parents, otherwise it won’t be long before they begin to disobey you too. 

Give your children freedom, but let that freedom be guided by discipline. 

The second thing that can make a child change is parental provocations. Let’s read how Colossians put it:

Colossians 3:

20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. 

21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

Children have respect towards their parents by default, but we see from scriptures that this respect can be lost through provocation. 

My stepmum derived pleasure in torturing me and my sister for no reason. She could beat us for the most insignificant thing in this world. For instance, the treatment for misplacing my spoon in school is worse than the treatment giving to a thief. She’d beat us mercilessly, with scars all over our body. And I mean, all over our body. She’d lock the door so that neighbours would be unable to stop her from performing her evil on us. 

She had gossipers who hinted her about our daily activities whenever she returned from work, and without confirmation, she’d lock the door, grab the cane or any instrument she could lay her hands on and begin the beating. This happened almost everyday. In fact, I can’t remember a day we didn’t live in fear, for many years. 

But the thing about oppression is that the oppressed will eventually turn the oppressor into a prey. So that’s how I broke out of her chains. As usual, her accomplice reported a good I did in a bad way, and instead of investigating the matter, she called me inside the house, locked the door and told me to kneel down as she’d always say. But this time, I got provoked, I asked her what I did wrong, she tried to be evasive, so I grabbed both her and her cane, pushed her to the chair, opened the door and left the house to report her to family members. She didn’t only lose her respect that day, she also lost me. Beating us became impossible from that day. 

As a parent, don’t continue doing something wrong against your children and think that they won’t react someday. They may be children, but they see how other people live outside, and so they expect the same in their home. They’d continue to nurse that thought until it becomes a provocation. 

Finally, don’t beat your children for doing something you never discussed with them. They’d think you maltreated them. So discuss it, and discuss the penalties for violation too. So that when they violate, they know what to expect. 

I hope this has brought enlightenment to someone. 

Remain ever blessed! 

#EmekaAnslem